Even Newer Forum

Yeah I know I just got one...But now I got a newer better one. This one is perfect too. I don't think there will be one after it. Cause now instead of just having moderator powers...I have Adminastrator powers too. YES! http://joshennter.proboards37.com/index.cgi That's the address. Enjoy

First 5 (double spaced) Pages of Bloody Fingers Script

A fat women making tea hears a sound. Its dark in the house but she still goes to investigate. She peers into the room finding nothing. Shrugs it off and leaves. A dark figure is shown when she closes the door (Pick). Pick then opens the door and walks through. Next thing heard is a scream.

Cops are called to the scene after neighbors heard screams. They break into the house finding a trail of blood in the hallway leading to the master bedroom. They charge in there and

Cop1: OH GOD!
Cop2: IT’S HORRIBLE!

Cop 2 spews vomit and it breaks to another scene. The daughter (Stacey) is driving up to the house when he sees the cops around the house.

Stacey: What’s going on here! Where’s mom!?
Cop1: I’m sorry… your mothers been killed
Stacey: Noo…
Cop1: Also the guy that killed her banged the shit out of her afterwards
Stacey: What!
Cop1: I KNOW! It’s sick isn’t it? We walk into your moms room and he’s working the folds. I don’t even think that he found the vagina.
Stacey: Why are you telling me this!?
Cop1: shrugs Figured I was helping…like.. you’re crying now…and I could give you a shoulder to do it on… Eh? brow raised
Stacey: UGH! Get away from me you sick fuck!

Pick is then escorted out of the house. Handcuffed. Stacey’s and his eyes meet. Smile crosses his face.

Cop2: Shit did he just piss his pants?

Breaks to a courtroom during the afternoon.

Judge: This looks like an open and shut case. The defendant was found on top of the victim… fornicating… With that alone it should be enough evidence to get this “man” if you wish to call him that the death penalty.

Pick: Whoa whoa whoa! You’re not even gonna let anybody defend me! I was drunk I didn’t know what I was doing!

Judge: You killed and committed necrophilia with this woman because you were drunk?

Pick: Well yeah… You see at the time she looked a lot hotter… so honestly you can only say that beers to blame for her sexing up.

Judge: I see…This court finds you guilty and you will be given the highest of Capital Punishment Mr. Pick. The Death Penalty!

New Scene. Stacey’s High School. A group of friends are hanging out together.

Justin: Oh man did you hear about what happened to Stacey’s mom?
Bryce: Yeah heard she was killed then screwed by some psycho. Pretty fucking messed up.
Justin: I know. Stacey’s mom is a cow!
Sarah: Hey! Quit being a jerk! A woman just died.
Justin: You know what really sucks. She was both fat and dead and she still got laid! I’m in my prime of life and I haven’t even made it to first base!
Sarah: Shit Justin, you’re getting envious of a dead woman now? Issues
Bryce: The guy that did it must have been about as desperate for pussy as you. You thinking of going for the big ladies Justin?
Justin: Shut up man! I don’t know how anybody could go for a lard ass like Stacey’s mom let alone myself! When the Cow says moo I say No!

Justin doesn’t realize that Stacey has just shown up behind him.

Stacey: The cow?
Justin: Oh crap sorry Sarah I didn’t realize Stacey kicks him where it hurts OoF!
Bryce: I told him to shut up baby. He just wouldn’t listen to me. I’m so sorry you had to hear that.
Stacey: Thanks Bryce. they hug
Bryce: I’ve been worried about you all day. I can’t stand for you to be by yourself right now.
Stacey: Me neither.
Bryce: So I was thinking that a good way to make sure that we’re together today is to have sex.
Stacey: Huh?
Bryce: I’m not just saying that to get you into bed. Just think of it as like putting me on a leash. I’ll be the dog and you can yank on my leash. That way you’ll know that I’m right there.
Stacey: I’ll pass…but thanks…
Sarah: Jeez Bryce can you stop thinking with your dick for even a second. Look at her. She’s depressed as fuck. She couldn’t even change out of her pajamas this morning.
Stacey: I’m not in my pajamas...
Sarah:…oh…well nice effort then.
Stacey: Huh?
Sarah: Nothing… I was thinking that we could have a slumber party tonight. Get your mind focused on more cheery things.
Stacey: I don’t know..
Sarah: You do know and you’re saying yes. Meet me after school and I’ll give you a ride.
Stacey: Ok I guess.
Class Bell Rings and they head off to class. New scene. Its in a class room and the teacher is going over the book Frankenstein

Teacher: Now can anyone tell me why Frankenstein eventually refused to create a bride for the monster?
Student: Its because he couldn’t live with himself if he were to unleash another monster upon the world.
Teacher: Uh… I’m going to have to guess that you weren’t paying attention because I don’t believe anybody could really be that stupid. Frankenstein realized that he was about to help fulfill the greatest act of necrophilia imaginable. Two dead people having sex. Is there anything more heinous than that? This is the theme through out the story. Helping a horny dead guy get laid with a dead woman is wrong. Necrophilia has to be stopped even if it leads to dead bodies of people you care about and that he could evidently have sex with.

What the teacher is saying strikes a cord with Stacey and she runs out of the classroom.

Teacher: Sarah, go after her and see if she’s alright.
Sarah: Alright Ms. Wood

Stacey is just outside the classroom crying.

Sarah: You alright Stacey?
Stacey: sniff Yeah…sorry. What Ms. Wood was saying struck a cord for some reason.
Sarah: You mean because you’re mom just did the dead nasty?
Stacey: whimper yeah
Sarah: If it makes you feel any better the newspapers said that Pick said he didn’t really enjoy it.
Stacey: Pick?
Sarah: Yeah…the psycho that killed you’re mom
Stacey: Pick…

I'm an Asshole

Yeah....Lack of updates....I'll do em this weekend...BBBBBBBBBLLLLLLLAAAAHH!

Who wants to touch my balls!?

Had a physical today... didn't actually realize that I was going in for that. I don't know what I was expecting but it didn't involve ball grabbing fun. This isn't Micheal Jackson ball grabing either...this is closer to the ball grabbing you'd hear about in a Stephen King novel...only not so painful (shudders). Stephen King has some serious issues when in almost all of his novels hell involve pain in the bojangles. Probably been kicked there so many times in his life that the sensation is just constantly swimming around in his head. Anyways.. So today I was actually going to a new doctors office. They ran things alittle diffrent to my liking. One thing in particular the stripping part. At my last doctors place I got to hang out in my boxers. That's luxury doctors office material. This place its everything...besides my socks...I got to keep those on. This would have been alright if they didn't hand me one of those paper shirt....dress....comes closer to describing that but yeah...shirt sounds less weird. So we're gonna call it a shirt. If they didn't hand me that I could have just hung out with my cock out. Nothing wrong with that. Its something that I would like to call freedom. But they hand you that shirt thing. Sure I could have just said "Screw it" and hang out naked...but that might seem alittle eager. I don't want the doctor coming in thinking that I'm all reved up for a balls squeezing. So yeah...the shirt/dress was on. I can't imagine why anyone would want to become a doctor. I mean I'm sure they get used to all the balls and stuff that they have to see....and touch...but what about when they first get into the field. I wouldn't want to ask someone if they would present thier balls much less let me touch them. If I were that kind of a doctor I would have to make sure that everyone is as uncomptfortable as they could possibly be. Maybe then they'll take thier buissness elsewhere...I wouldn't be a rich doctor...but it's really not about the money at that point. Wiener jokes would be a big for me, or just pointing and laughing... I don't know if I could be too much wittier than that if a wieners hanging out in my view. And a point and a laugh really says it all. Ok I'm gonna leave it off at that. Some people have ways of ending thier blogs...Finishes them off a lot better than mine....I'll just rip off thier idea... :)

This has been a new report By Josh on location at Uranus.....heh heh...Uranaus....Homoerectus....heh heh....boobies... Words are fun

We need more rambling captain!

Jeez it's been over a week since my last ramble and I feel like I'm dripriving you my loyal (cough cough) readers something. So you may now spend a moment to bask in my rambling geniusness.
Have you ever had one of those days where it seems like the entire day was spent in anticipation of a fart? It wants out so badly but in intrest of not being known as stinkbomb for the rest of the year you have to hold it in. The explosions burst inside, and you realize how right South Park must have been on the idea of spontanious combustion. The gas is charging at the cheeks like vilagers storming a castle, only the visitors were drunk and they didn't realize that they were already inside...stupid vilagers. This goes on the whole day until you finally get home....and at least half the time you realize that you don't need to fart anymore. It happpens... It's kind of disapointing though. You held in this thing the whole day, it should sound like somebody blew a fart shotgun out of your ass. But nope... Its usually disapointing. We have to hold these things in because women think its disgusting. WOMAN FART TOO! So what's the problem. I think society would be a lot better off if everyone could fart whenever the hell they felt like it. I mean if they had burritos or something keep them next to a door or an open window, but half the time most peoples farts don't come out too strong. We're not like animals where it smells like a fart and burnt hair. Women need to get off this pediment that they hoiste themselves onto and join us open farters. Farting doesn't make you a horrible person. Just like everybody poops everone also farts. I read something for a school project ...heh heh she let us pick our own topic, that said that women who hold in thier farts all day just end up farting in thier sleep. So that's real great... You hold in your farts all day come home, and then fart on the ones you love. You women sure got it figured out great.
Alright that's all I got for rambling. Later

NEW FORUM!

Yes! I am free of the stink of the crappy Bravenet forum. There is a new forum in town. WHEW! It may not be exactly what I'm looking for...but it sure is pretty :D